“Is it me, Lord? Is it me?”

Trevin Wax writes on his blog called Kingdom People:

In the Gospel of Mark, each time Jesus predicts his suffering, the disciples demonstrate their pride and weakness. The scenes are sadly comical. Jesus talks about going to the cross, and the disciples begin trying to one-up each other for glory in the kingdom.

But there is one scene that stands out. At the table during the Last Supper, Jesus tells the disciples that one of them will betray him. Based upon everything we know of the disciples, we might expect them to begin looking around at each other, trying to figure out who is the villain.

Maybe it’s Peter. He thinks he’s so devoted…

I bet it’s John. He loses his temper and can’t control himself. Maybe he’s mad at Jesus…

It’s probably Simon. Jesus isn’t a Zealot, and Simon might be wanting to go back to his old life…

Maybe it’s Levi. The money from the tax booth is calling him again…

We expect to see the disciples looking suspiciously at one another, trying to figure out who might be the betrayer. We expect them to point the finger and say, “Is it him?” Instead, they point the finger back at themselves and say, “Is it me?”

If there’s any encouragement in this passage, it’s that the disciples immediately start looking at themselves and their own hearts. They don’t immediately judge the others.

Whenever we see someone fall into sin, our temptation is to puff up and think, “I’m glad I’m stronger than that.” Often, when we hear a sermon that should step on our toes, we think, “I hope so and so is taking notes. They really need to hear that!”

We excel at finding faults with others when we should be finding faults in ourselves.

Next time you hear of someone failing the Lord, look inside your own heart and say, “Lord, don’t let that be me! I don’t want to be the one who lets you down! Shower me with your grace again and remind me of my weakness.”

Lent is a time to reflect. And it’s a time to ask: “Is it me, Lord? Is it me?”